A Malaysian Soundtrack...

Day 1 and 2 – Semporna, Sabah, Malaysia

Flying from Kuala Lumpur to Sabah (the Malaysian side of Borneo) was amazing, really like entering wilderness. Not for nothing that Borneo is sometimes called ‘The WILD West’… Jungle beneath, very dense forest, some mud-colored rivers waving and bending their way through, and then, slash and burn clearings, destroyed hills, palm plantations, little farmhouses, like a wound in the forest. Rugged little hills with jagged peaks pass by underneath, the sun is setting, spreading a warm yellow light, showing the shadow of the airplane. A sudden rainbow behind the wing... Magical.

Getting out of the plane in Tawau, around dusk, the air rich with smells and humidity. Wonderful natural smells, of trees and soil. Almost there…. After 24 hours of traveling all I need to do is take a one hour drive with a taxi to Semporna, over a dark winding road. Some dangerously big trucks carry people in the open hatch. Laborers from the Palm oil plantations, or so my taxi driver tells me. The poorest of the poor, often from the Philippines or Indonesia. They earn 1 ringit an hour, that is 20 eurocent…..

Dark road with dogs crossing, a big dead reptile (lizard?) on the tarmac, its intestines splashed out red and dark…. The view makes me nauseous. Up on the electricity cable an owl is watching down, its silhouette perfect against the dark blue sky.

Houses on poles, little wooden stands along the road were farmers sell their products during the day. I sleep a bit, wake up, sleep, chat with the driver. Semporna is a little town on the seaside, but not romantic or beautiful. It’s dirty, filled with concrete buildings, garbage everywhere, typical of many Asian towns and cities. An attack on the senses, bad smells, good smells, people, food, colors and music. It feels familiar, a bit like some parts of Jakarta. Groups of boys stare at me, not unfriendly, just staring, but the women and children stare too. Everybody is curious, asking “where you go miss? Where is your husband miss?” I have invented one by now. One who had to stay home and work hard and could not come with me. Even the Westerners here at Scubajunkie are surprised that I am travelling alone, this seems uncommon around here. I am not sure why, it feels perfectly fine to do so, and I feel perfectly safe and protected.

I sleep for a few hours that first night in the scubajunkie hostel, jetlag is still obvious and I get up at 3 for my daily meditation and yoga practice. It is nice and quiet and my room is big enough. I had a very strong meditation experience during the mantras, my body was immovable, like a rock, and it did not have to move once. My awareness was free floating above it, aware and peaceful, sensing the body but no longer contained by it. Are those hands I feel really my hands? I feel a very satisfying sense of detachment and freedom, no distracting signals from my physical body, no shifting and stretching of joints. Just being, heavy, like a log, a stone, my thoughts cascading along like water. And then this awareness separate from that, observing but still connected.

A beautiful sunset is my reward for early rising…. just before six, right when I was done the sun came up with splendor and immediately birds start singing and people start moving around. Those equatorial sunrises and sunsets are so fast, like switching the light on or off. I was planning to sleep some more but it was too beautiful outside and I walked out the door, the town bustling with life under the first sunrise, the market full of vendors and buyers, fruits and fish.

At the waterside the first impression was stench and garbage, everything drifting in the water and piled up on the shore. Environmental awareness is not very common, yet. It will be I hope… You can’t blame people, the government does not provide and garbage collection and people have bigger worries than pollution of the environment. Still, it is a painful sight. But there is a nice blue sea as well, with jagged little island peaks in the distance. Boats everywhere, rickety little boats bringing fish on shore.

Whole families on living boats, most of them so-called Sea Gypsies: stateless people, living on and off the sea. On boats and on house they have built in the middle of the sea, floating or on poles.

They sell little sharks with dead eyes and bloody fins, big beautiful fish, sadly beaten and lifeless. Beautiful amounts of little sardines, like raindrops in a bucket. Everything dead.

I am sure this fresh fish tastes amazing, but most divers (and yogis) won’t eat it. After seeing them alive around you all day in the water, eating them is like eating your own puppy. Not for the faint of heart….

In the harbor people are sitting and staring at each other and me. The share greetings and laughs, openly curious, but I am getting used to it again. Indonesia is not much different, in fact, most of my Asian experiences have been colored by the friendliness and curiosity of the locals.

Slowly, I am getting used to the stench and filth, the dead rats on the street, guts splashed out, hunted down by dogs and cars, eaten. The living rats, big as cats, eating the garbage in the back yard of the hostel. The stray dogs in the street hunt them down and living of them.

Then there is the giant lizard (2 meters? It is gigantic) slowly passing through the backyard when I am in the shower. Amazing animal, prehistoric design and still working fine!

Smells, sights, color and sound. Asia on my Mind and Soul, providing a new soundtrack to the stability I feel inside.

Besides the mosque it is not beautiful here in Semporna, but the ocean is one of the most amazing marine areas in the world. I did my open water scuba diving course theory today and so tomorrow it will be diving, first theory and practice, and then, in the afternoon, dipping under and seeing and sensing that hidden world…..

Kuala Lumpur Smiles

Kuala Lumpur Airport has a strange, quiet atmosphere, for one of the busiest airports in Asia. Maybe it is because of the luxury design, the tropical waterfall outside, all the glass, that people just speak softer and go quietly on their way. The airport looks more like a luxury shopping mall and entertainment center, and guess what, they also have a brilliant hotel in the departure area where you can book a room for a few hours, day or night....

This was an offer that I gladly accepted after a 12 hour flight and a missed night of sleep. The cold shower was fantastic, clean crisp sheets too, and then a cool, dark room.... sleep taking me in her arms, softly whisking me away from airports and all those people everywhere. Maybe that was the best thing about being in my hotel room for five hours: some privacy is always nice after being packed like sardines in a flying-can.

And then, it was on to another part of the airport, to the departure hall of the discount airliner AirAsia. That is were I am patiently waiting now. Not standing in line in front of the gate like all the other people here. Just sitting, watching, being watched, writing a bit.

What a feast of the senses, Malaysia.... Food everywhere, fantastic food, for that matter. Fresh fruits and juices, yummy rice dishes with vegetarian or meat sauces. The roti bread with banana inside, or noodles and soup, ice cream and smoothies. An airport with a gigantic food court, people everywhere, different faces, languages. Malaysia has been on the crossroads of many Asian trade routes for centuries and it is visible: Chinese, Indian, Arabic, Indonesian faces. Smiley faces too, from the children, the parents, the young couples. People smile generously here. And now on to Borneo to dive. Selamat Siang!

What's in a name? The meaning of Amrit Dev Kaur

In the tradition of Kundalini Yoga it is possible to ask for a spiritual name. This name signifies the destination of your soul, your own true essence, and is a reminder of who you really are.... It can be helpful to have reminder of this, especially right now when my mind is trying to grasp the fact that I am leaving Amsterdam for a few months. I feel a bit overwhelmed with all the changes and goodbyes always bring up lots of emotions too. So I felt the need to meditate on my True Name (Sat Nam) and looked up the meaning of Amrit Dev Kaur. What a great gift to have this name, I immediately felt lighter and brighter when I read this again:

You have been blessed to live as Amrit Dev Kaur, which means the Princess/Lioness of God, who walks with grace and courage throughout her life, and who tastes and enjoys Gods sweet divine nectar.

Amrit means the nectar of Gods grace, the sweetness of God touching and opening your heart. Dev means divine and angelic. Kaur means the Princess/Lioness of God who walks with grace and courage throughout her life. Kaur is a name that Yogi Bhajan gave to all women. He taught that every woman has the potential to attain a true state of grace and courage, and he encouraged each woman to manifest that potential.

Having the name Amrit Dev Kaur means that within you is the potential to dwell in the sweetness of your soul. You can be an Angel, one who serves with grace and honor.

Meditate on your beautiful spiritual name, listen to your souls truth and connect with your Creator. May you excel in the Age of Aquarius and light up the universe as we move from a finite consciousness to a consciousness of Infinity.

May Guru Ram Das bless you and guide you, now and forever. In the Name of the Cosmos which prevails through everyBODY, and the Holy Nam which holds the world.

What is good or bad?

Yesterday a nice quote from Yogi Bhajan came in my mailbox. It says:

What is good or bad? Only thinking makes it so. We only need to learn two things: to be grateful and to be graceful.

I really enjoy thinking about the meaning of these quotes for myself, of course we interpret them all differently. What does it mean to you?

To me this was a reminder not to be judgemental about anything that happens or about other people. And to be happy with my life and to be graceful when things or other people are difficult or challenging. So to deal with difficulties in an elegant and balanced way. No need to make a drama out if it ;-)

I just spend a long week on my own in isolation (no phone, internet, etc) in a little house on one of the Dutch islands (Schiermonnikoog) to write on my dissertation and it was wonderful. The house is owned by my extended family and I have visited it since I was born. Some of the best childhood memories are about our holidays in that little wooden house. The island itself is a natural reserve with some of the most untouched land in the Netherlands.

Like I planned, I got a lot of work done in a nice peaceful way. I started every day with early morning yoga and meditations (sadhana = discipline), had a wonderful breakfast and started to write. My desk was in front of the big window overlooking the dunes. All I saw, looking up from the computer, was nature.....and I got to walk along the beach and in the dunes every day.

What a perfect balance.

I hope to live in a little house in nature some time in the future... for now, I'm back in Amsterdam. But not for long! On the 27th of December I am moving to Indonesia for a few months to do more research for my dissertation, to visit a conference, and to do some travelling and diving on Borneo and Sumatra... and.... who knows?!

Dreams are wishes waiting to be fulfilled.